Forced rest

Well I am down and don't like it.  Like my typical post baby self, all I can think of today is all of the things I need to be doing.  I had to make a not so lovely trip to the ER first thing Monday morning and after a ridiculous amount of tests (I counted 15 different needle pokes) I am home and resting.  I really wanted to just get some things picked up around the house, laundry, etc, but I knew after being up for a short amount of time that my body was telling me to get back down.  So I will listen to my body and rest.  I know not taking care of myself now will only slow the healing.

So I am totally bored.  I couldn't take a nap if I wanted to, so the question is, what can I use this time for and still let my body get the rest it is demanding?  So I guess I can look up recipes for things to attempt to make in the future, or work on my Christmas shopping list.  Maybe I'll get out one of the magazines I haven't gotten to read yet, or make a new list of things to do...boring!

Photo Saturday?

Ok, I missed my post yesterday with the other issues that were going on, but I wanted to post this picture that I am in love with.  It is Max right after he took his first steps.  He was sooo happy!  This is definitely one of my favorite pictures.

Here is one from his first birthday.  He was sick that day, but still got to enjoy his birthday cupcake :)

Big moments in our lives...I won't ever forget.

Sleep interrupted

Well, it wasn't the restful nights sleep I was hoping for, but it was better than Daren's night, since it was his night to take care of Max.  He had to sleep in the guest bed with him early on, after he woke up an hour after going to bed with horrible gas pain.  He was screaming and crying out "Momma".  Daren and I both tried walking with him, tried doing the bicycle legs, gave him gas drops, I tried a small warm heating pad on his tummy, but nothing worked and we just had to wait until there was some movement and the pain passed. 

I woke up around 11:30 to hear the screaming again and I went to check on him and Daren.  Daren started walking with him again.  I knew there wasn't a whole lot I could do this time, so I thought I better try to get a little rest and told Daren to come get me for a break or if he wanted to split up the night.  It's not easy walking around holding him for long, especially when he is in pain and trying to push away from you at the same time.

I sent his gas drops to daycare with him today to give him regularly to see if we can get this to pass easier for him.  He was still passing quite a bit when I was getting him dressed this morning.  I just can't imagine what he thought as he had this pain that we couldn't take away.  I remember one time I had gas pain so bad I was lying in bed in tears thinking I was going to have to go to the hospital, until I felt some movement and realized what it was.  Understanding what it was comforted me, knowing that it would eventually go away.  But how do you explain that to a child, that while he understands many things we say, couldn't begin to understand this yet.

Yesterday when I called to check on him in daycare they said he was a little cranky and thought he might be teething.  Well he definitely isn't teething!  Poor kid.  I hope this isn't something he will have to continue battling for a long time.  Does anyone have any experience with gas in toddlers? 

Back on track

After having to keep my sweet son home since Sat, I think we are finally back on track...I hope!  I seriously hope that this is the last round of daycare cooties this year.  It's a hard part of being a working mother and having a child in daycare.

But now we can get back into the swing of things, get back to our schedule and back to making progress on everything that got put on hold.  So now, my house is clean...WOO HOO!  My laundry is almost done..really it's never done.  And perhaps on my lunch tomorrow, or this weekend, I should be able to start painting my kitchen at long last.  I am ignoring the areas I can't get to myself, like the behind the refrigerator or behind the stove right now.  I'm so intent on getting it started I don't care.  So now we'll have to see how long it takes to finish.

As today draws to an end, I look forward to one thing and one thing only...nice clean sheets on a freshly turned mattress.  Isn't that one of the best feelings? 

Illness

Right now my baby is in his crib sleeping.  Probably temporarily.  He has had a persistent high fever for several days.  We went to the after hours clinic this weekend and will go to his pediatrician tomorrow.  I'm hoping that it's like your car acting up, that by the time we get there he will be all better and his temp will be back to where it should be.
But right now I am just waiting.  I have the guest bed ready with the thermometer and medicine nearby, water to keep him drinking fluids and my pillows(not that I will get any sleep).  Even if he is sleeping I will be constantly checking on him and trying to get a read on his temperature.  Thankfully, not that long ago we decided to buy one of the forehead thermometer and boy am I glad we did.  Once we got it I doubted that we could take his temp. while sleeping like the information said, but the other night I did exactly that.  It beeps, but it never woke him up.  I couldn't read the display in the dark and kept my cell phone close by for some extra light.  I highly recommend one.

At this point I'm hoping he stays asleep for another 45 minutes until it is time for more Tylenol.  I really can't stand the thought of him sleeping alone when he is like this, so I don't think I will even bother laying down myself until it is time to get him and get his next dose of medicine.  I used to think it was best not to wake a baby to take medicine, but not now...Since we don't know what is causing the fever now, I want to watch him non-stop. 

Does this part get any easier? All I know is that I love him so much, even when he is sick, I can hold him and cry from the joy that he is in my life.  And I don't want that to ever change.

Full of it!

Max and gas...oh dear, where do I begin?  The last 3 nights, we have been spending a lot of time in the guest bed with Max so we can get some sleep.  You should see Max's hair in the morning from all of the tossing and turning he does all night from the gas.  Last night wasn't too bad, I actually got some sleep and when I woke up I realized that Max was no longer laying next to me, he was laying with his head on my shoulder.  I must have been sleeping hard for that not to wake me up! Highly unusual.

Right now I have 3 cousins expecting and it takes me back to the beginning.  I expected alot of problems but everything that I experienced was different from what I read about( I read alot).  I had no clue why Max was crying so much and I'm not sure how old he was but it was somewhere between 1-2 months old when the other problems calmed down and we started figuring all the other things out.  I had gotten to know Max better.  I think the cries tended to me a bit more distinct at that time and I would notice that Max would stiffen up, and scream, then relax a bit, then soon after do the same cry again.  I would look at his face and I just knew it was pain.  It was sudden and not a constant cry like the other cries.  Around this time you could also hear grumbling in his belly which amazed me.

I did a lot of searching on the internet after that.  I read one mom's story and how she mentioned that when the baby cried she would feed him not realizing that this was actually making the problem worse because she hadn't realized it was gas that was making him cry.  That was me!  I also had been having low milk supply so I initially thought he wasn't getting enough milk.  We even bought a scale to weigh him before and after feedings to make sure he was getting anything.  I know so many moms have babies with gas and it is so hard to figure out why and what to do to keep your baby from experiencing any pain.  And then you go to the Dr and they just tell you that many babies go through this and they will outgrow it.  Did that make me feel any better?!  I don't think so!!!  And we were at the Dr's office a lot in the beginning.

So I tried the big obvious elimination diets since I was breastfeeding and eliminated dairy for like 3 weeks.  It was so hard because there is all kinds of hidden dairy in food that I had no clue of.  Well that didn't seem to make much difference and I missed dairy, so I started back on my normal diet.  I have heard from moms that they could tell a difference immediately with certain foods...I didn't.  Plus Max spit up a lot...he pretty much lived in bibs.  I would put him in the car seat with an additional burb cloth draped over him he did it so often.  After every feeding I had to hold him upright for like 10 minutes and especially until he burbed, which I had to be super diligent about, before I laid him down.  And I started giving him gas drops with every feeding(which I am starting to think I should do again now).  There are so many different things to try it becomes overwhelming, you have to start somewhere.  I even tried probiotics I had read about...didn't work for us, but I felt better that at least I had tried it.  I also switched to Dr. Brown bottles.

I still remember when I was pregnant and getting a bunch of gifts and one item was gas drops.  If I remember correctly, my aunt told me that my cousin said not to be afraid to use them.  Well I clearly remember the night that Daren and I looked at each other and wondered why Max was crying so much and we remembered those gas drops and got them out and used them for the first time while stumbling around in the dark.  We didn't know it was gas at the time, but were willing to try anything.  And gas drops every once in a while didn't help, only with every feeding did we notice a little difference.

I think back to everything and wonder if my problems will help anyone else.  I know this is a small posting for a big problem, but it's something.  I'm sure I will be giving more advice to my pregnant family or anyone else that needs it, because I think if I can help anyone going through something similar it is worth it. By the way, I also know several moms that swear by taking the baby to the chiropractor and it helping with a variety of issues including constipation.

In the end, having a gassy baby stinks.  ;)  There are a ton of different things you can try.  I only tried a few that made sense for us.  Just do as much research as you can, talk to your pediatrician, and try anything else you feel comfortable with to see if it works.  Oh and everyone is full of advice on this topic, so listen to it and in the end, do what you think is best.  Every child is different and you know what is best.

Photo Friday

Seriously, the boy stands on his giraffe and rocks back and forth with no hands.  Every time I see it I end up singing..."If everybody had an ocean...".   For some reason he doesn't look that happy in this pic, the only pic I have gotten, but he is.  You should see the video we got the first time he did this.  The giggling wouldn't stop.

I see many hospital visits in our future.  Not even 15 months yet...what am I in for???!!

Bath Time

Here is just one more area I feel the need for my mommy mentor...bath time.  Max is a very active boy and the bath tub is no exception.  There's no telling how many times I say, "Please sit down" while he is in there.  I only put a small amount of water in the tub because he is constantly putting his face in the water and then coming up coughing.  Or even better, as he did tonight peeing in the water and then doing a belly flop on top of it! Fun!

Of course the part that worries me the most is that he had to get tubes in his ears a few months ago and has to wear ear plugs around water.  The other day he turned his head to the side and put his ear in the water!  I said,  "Don't put your ear in the water!"  Well I think the selective hearing is already in effect and he turned his head to the other side and put that ear in the water.  I just have to pray that the ear plugs are working well enough under those conditions. 

So usually we make it through bath time with no major injuries...unless you count the fact that I'm waiting for the heart attack to get me at any moment from the craziness.  And even though when bath time is over and Max is ready to get out, once I try to dry him off and put a diaper on him the tears and attempt at running away and attacking the toilet begins.  There is usually a struggle and bribes of various toys, hopefully something that peaks his interest and if I'm lucky there is a pacifier nearby.

Monday night I got so lucky and the entire bath process was so smooth I thought my child had been body snatched and in his place was an alien...a sweet well behaved alien.  Tonight on the other hand...hmmm.  Belly flop in the pee pool, trying to bite all things metal, and screaming, writhing until I had to hold him down then distract him with a comb to get his diaper on.  Oh the joy of bath time :)

Getting it together

I think I need a plan for getting everything done and doing a little more for myself as well.  This weekend things seemed to go more smoothly and I felt like I was able to get things done around the house.  Not everything I wanted to do, and none of my house projects, but I got stuff done none the less.

Last week I got the rest of my wallpaper glue off, with the exception of behind the stove and I am dying to get that paint up, so I have to hurry and get the rest of the patching and sanding done.  I also am getting very frustrated with my closets and the fact that most of my clothes don't fit me.  That and somehow my closet seems to have a lot of visitors from my mom's house.

So this week my two projects are to work on my closets(yes I have 2 closets full of clothes) and to get the walls in the kitchen ready to paint, or get the painted started by this weekend.

First I am going to take about 5 to 10 minutes each night before I go to bed and move clothes that I don't like/never wear/shouldn't be wearing, to the other side.  Then I will move these all to one spot, right now, Max's closet, until I decide what is going to happen to the clothes.  I'm thinking of having a clothes swap party at my house if anyone is up for it...let me know if you are interested.

As far as the kitchen goes, I think I am going to set aside 20 minutes on my lunch each day to work on it.  Then I can take about 20 minutes to get some chores done, possibly even eat, and feel like I am making progress as well.

As far as time for myself?  I hate working out at night, but if I can get a little walk in with Max at night I may at least feel like I'm doing something for myself.  We're going to get a new stroller, so not letting the money get wasted will be enough motivation for me to get out at night until it starts getting dark then.

So that is the plan, let's see if I stick to it  :)

Bottle withdrawl

I tried to get Max off his bottle.  It didn't go well.  We are really only down to the bedtime bottle and that's it, but I think he would have done better if I had picked a better night.  He was pretty tired and got cranky pretty fast.  It may have been the cup that I tried to give him instead. 

To compound the problem it was dark in the room and I thought he had initially drank a lot, but then when he started getting really upset I went to switch to the bottle and it didn't look like he had drank much and the milk had a ton of bubbles on the top.  So I was sure that he was going to have bad gas...and he did.  I was up from about 10, not long after I fell asleep, until I finally put him back into his crib at 3:30.  I call him my little pinball on nights like this because he can't get comfortable and just keeps moving back and forth and up and down all over the section of the bed he sleeps on.

So I guess I will wait and see if there is a better night this week to try it.  Keeping my fingers crossed!!

Hair cut

I have begun hearing people say that it is time to cut Max's hair...I can't!  I love the curls on the back of his hair and since my hair started curling after I turned 30 and Daren has curly hair when it grows much more than what he keeps it cut at, I'm dying to see what it could look like.

What if I cut the curls and they never come back!  I know it is getting to where it may be getting into his eyes soon.  I guess I have to decide....do I want my son to have a mullet?  I mean if I trim the front and let the back grow...will he end up singing "Achy Breaky Heart"?

I suppose things could be worse... but this baby was in the womb attending some good concerts, AC/DC, ZZ Top, and Buddy Guy.  OK, so I grew up listening to some of the big hair bands, but I think I would rather see him with the surfer look than the big hair look.

I know eventually I will have to cut his hair...but today it ain't happening!

Photo Friday :)

Playing in the park

Cuddling with Teddy

Time for a nap!

I'm such a proud Mama.  No need to say any more.

My Partner

Some times I feel like I am lying to people when during the course of the conversation they refer to Daren as my husband.  While we live together, own a home together, and most importantly have a child together, we aren't married.  So what am I supposed to do?  Stop and correct them or just let it go and let them assume what they want?  I think I have had one person in the past stutter after calling Daren my husband because they knew we weren't married.  I think they must have been worried about my reaction.  But it doesn't bother me at all.

I just let it go, since we are practically married...but  I do know what kind of ring I want...ahem...I'm just saying....  I do struggle with what to call him.  I have heard a celebrity or two refer to their long term boyfriend as their "spousal equivalent".  I like that, but it takes too long to say.  I don't much care for "significant other" for about the same reason.  Boyfriend just doesn't cut it and makes me feel like I am in high school.  So on occasion both Daren and myself have referred to each other, when talking to other people, as our "partner". 

Now, the term "partner" seems to have a few different meanings to people, but I do like it for a couple reasons.  I really do feel like he is my partner in life.  I believe in equal parenting and although we have fluctuations where we feel like we are taking on more than the other one, I think we do a damn good job.  Daren drops Max off at daycare and I pick him up.  We take turns as to who will get up with the baby in the night.  This takes some pressure off and we then feel like we can at least look forward to not having to get up if the baby wakes up, which does happen alot.  Tonight is my night, so I will be finishing this quickly so I can go to bed, just in case.  And while I feed Max, Daren is usually fixing something for us to eat (Max goes to bed early so timing everything is a little odd right now).

I feel like we do pretty well handling money situations and dealing with major issues and purchases.  We just  enjoy each others company and spend most of our free time together.  We even go to the grocery store together.  Ok we aren't perfect and I think he can tell when my hormones kick in, but I am a very lucky lady. 

So if I am having a conversation with you and just refer to Daren as....Daren, don't be surprised.  And don't worry about my reaction if you call him anything else...my parents even refer to him as my husband sometimes.  Whether or not we get married, and eventually I think we will, he will always be my partner.

Wanted: Mommy Mentor

How did I get to this place of not being able accomplish anything at home?  Do I have too much going on?  Nope...just became a mommy.  I still laugh when I think of the people that used to say, "sleep when the baby sleeps."  Right.  Obviously, these were not people whose child only slept twenty minutes at a time, had a low supply of breastmilk, had to pump after every feeding, then wash everything so I could start the process over again in a little while.  By the time I was done washing...and sometimes during the pumping or washing, the baby would wake up.  Now what!

We also had problems breast feeding to begin with and it took a month until Max started breastfeeding normally but I still had to do a lot of pumping, especially when I started back to work to try to keep it up.  It was a constant struggle to keep my supply up, and after 7 1/2 months I started drying up and eeked by until Max was 8 months when we had to stop.

All during this frustrating time I just knew that I was not the only person to go through these struggles and wondered how all of these people make everything look so easy.  I keep thinking that even now, as Max turns into a high energy, fearless 14 mo. old.  I know what I needed and still need today...a mommy mentor.  One that has been through it all, figured it all out and makes everything look easy.  In my mind she is like a Super Nanny/Mary Poppins for mommies.  Maybe I'll even give her a British accent for fun.  My mommy mentor...oh, let's call her Peggy.

I would like to think that Peggy would spend a few days with me and tell me how to organize the kitchen to make things easier, go shopping with me to help me figure out what the heck to buy, then what the heck to eat, then how in the heck to make it while your son cries on the other side of the gate because you are not letting him come out there and help you. 

Oh yeah did I mention my child is fearless?  Recently, he stood up on his rocking giraffe toy and rocked back and forth while standing and using no hands.  He laughed hysterically, even as he kept falling down off of it.  Watch out X-games!  So you can imagine how afraid I would be to have him in the kitchen while I am actually doing anything half way dangerous.

Super Peggy(I just gave her a raise, in title only, because she has been so busy) would also tell me the right sippy cup to use that won't spill milk all over and still allow us to get Max off the bottle.  Peggy would show me how to organize my time so that I can actually have a clean house and find the time to work out and have a bit of personal time.  Oh Peggy, you are so awesome, did I mention that you are also an efficiency specialist?  I have so many questions for you.  Peggy, when can you start?

Never dye alone...

Never dye alone...unless you have short hair that is :)  I decided to just go ahead and dye my hair this morning.  I was getting frustrated by the gray hair and saw a picture of myself from this weekend and thought my hair looked really dark and I was ready for a change. 

Since I haven't colored my hair myself in sooo many years...like 15 years, I picked a color that was a little different from mine, but not a lot.   I was glad I did because I think I suck at coloring hair!  Apparently I have more hair than I thought and it took forever for me to do by myself.  Trying to get the back was a big old pain in the you-know-what. 

At one point I looked in the mirror while trying to color the back and saw where the strands of hair with color already on it had fallen on my cheek and made stripes down my face.  I quickly washed it off, but I was just sure I was going to end up with brown and red striped hair.  I had planned on going shopping after and stood looking in the mirror wonder what I had been thinking, I was going to have to wear I hat, I was sure of it!

After about 40 minutes I finally gave up and started rinsing it off.  I got lucky because of the color and since my hair is so dark it would be hard to tell where I messed up.  Once I actually go out into the sunlight, we'll see how good or bad I did.  I can say that from looking in the mirror, I did better than I thought, but in the end, with this much hair I won't dye alone again.

Saving money on hair?

My hair is going gray pretty quickly now.  I started getting a few gray hairs at the end of my 20's so it has been coming on for nearly 10 years, and I think I have finally decided to start coloring it.  I thought I would try something different and went to the store and got a box.  I think I should have gotten a box of wine instead, sounds more fun.  When I told my Mom about it, she reminded me that I have a lot of hair and would need 2 boxes, so I put off coloring my hair until I could get a second box, which I kept forgetting to do.

Now I have 2 boxes and decided my hair is so thick(in addition to starting to curl around the time I turned 30) that maybe I should go get it thinned out before I color it.  Last night I was looking in the mirror and thought maybe this was an area I could save money on...maybe I should just thin out my own hair by pulling the gray ones!  I guess that would be ok if they were all under the top layer, but now I'm getting them a lot in my part, so I think I would just look like I was balding if I do that.  Not sexy at all...and I have enough body issues right now!  Oh the joy of being a mother...and a woman.

Ok fine!  I guess I'll be calling to make an appt next week :)  Now hopefully the color won't turn my hair orange...

Time management

Where does the time go?  My list of to-do's keeps growing and I'm afraid it will never end.  Besides a good full nights sleep, the only other thing I actually miss about my pre-baby life was the time to get things done.  If I had only realized how important my time was back then I think I could have created peace on Earth.  Ok, maybe not.  But I would have done at least twice as much as I had been doing.

I make lists like crazy and I still can't manage to get much done.  I work from home and now find myself thinking longingly of the times I was in the office and would go out to lunch just for the time that I didn't have to multitask.  Now my lunch times are spent working on the house with only minutes spent actually eating.  I get 2- 10 minute breaks, when I take them, and use that time for laundry and picking up around the house, or whatever else needs done.

Since Max wakes up most nights about an hour or less after I put him down at night, it doesn't give me a whole lot of time to get anything done.  Plus we have all been dealing with the cooties Max brings home from daycare for the last few months.  I believe we all got the Norovirus that was going around the area.  NO FUN!

Last night Max woke up at his normal time with gas and probably some other pains considering tonight he had diarrhea.  I could not comfort him by just holding him so I had to walk around for a few minutes until he was ok enough for me to lay him next to me on the guest bed.  I let him get into a deep sleep and took him back to his crib where he slept restlessly the rest of the night.  I was on high alert with the monitor so I didn't sleep well.  So like most mornings lately, Daren woke me up to get in the shower while I was in the middle of a dream.  Since this is happening alot recently, I think it is fair to say my sleep cycle is off.

For a while now, by the end of the day, I wait until Max has had his wake up event and then end up wanting to just go to bed myself making the whole getting things done thing harder.  So I am trying to look at different areas of my life and house to make things easier to manage.  Ah being organized, it could be the key to my happiness.  So I think I will start out with....hmmm...going to bed.  I'll think about it more tomorrow!  Oh wait, is that Max I hear?